My notes behind Two White Adirondack Chairs

This started as The Rose Story, as it was borne of my coming across these two beautiful red roses on the side of the road while walking my dog one day. But I am learning that my stories actually grow and change as I write them, and they do not always follow the path that my notes have laid out for them. If you scan these notes, you'll definitely see key words or phrases or thoughts or ideas that made the cut, but the story itself turned out very differently than I had originally outlined.

At work - where?

Looks out window

What’s on her windshield?

No time to check

Dark outside when she gets out

Can’t make it out

Get closer

Piece of paper

2 red roses

Who?

Secret admirer?

Some idiot -> wrong car?

Envelope w/her name on it

Definitely the right car then

Heart lurches-handwriting

Tailspin

Had been so long that she hadn’t even thought it could be from him

Don’t open it don’t open it don’t open it

annnnnnnd it’s open

Card with a picture of something meaningful

Flower or animal or place that means something special specifically to them

Remembering that day or period of time

How perfect everything was

Until ___________ happened

Don’t open it don’t open don’t open it

annnnnnnd it’s open

(We all knew that was gonna happen)

“I’ve been thinking of you so much lately...

what we had...regret what happened...no one else has ever been as perfect for me as you...remember how it was...would love to reconnect...”

Everything comes rushing back (but better)

Favorite movies

Restaurants

B&B in ________ where something ridiculous happened

Blah blah blah happy times

Comes back to reality

Keys in hand

Sitting in the driver’s seat

Back to reality

Lost track of time

What. Just. Happened.

Literally shakes her head clear

Key in ignition

Driving home

Autopilot

Playing out the reunion in her head

Comfort

Connection

Warmth

Broken-in Birks

Favorite soft cozy sweater

Starting to get v excited about it

Future

All of their dreams & plans

Brain skipping

“regret what happened, regret what happened, regret what happened.”

Mrs. LaFontaine: HS English teacher hacks into/overrides/interrupts it all, railing against passive tense.

(certainly was a pet peeve of hers)

“regret what happened, regret what happened, regret what happened.”

(what happened, what happened, what happened)

Wait. Something didn’t just HAPPEN

Someone did something

HE did something. HE broke up with her.

And NOW he is regretting it

But why NOW?

Maybe NOW he is more emotionally available

Maybe NOW he feels like he is good enough for her

Maybe NOW he feels like he can be there for her

Maybe NOW he is ready to give her what she needs

Because maybe NOW he is alone again

She remembered all the things he said to her

All the things that he said which made HER feel bad for HIM

even though HE was the one breaking up with HER

So twisted that he made her genuinely concerned for him

His mental health and safety

When he actually just didn’t have the balls to simply be honest with her.

That he was attracted to someone else

Instead of telling the truth and making a clean break

She spent months crying sobbing doubled over gasping for air and waiting for him to be ready (even feel worthy) to get back together

Pulls over. Takes a deep breath. Takes her phone out of its holder.

Another deep breath

Open FB (IG?)

And there it is in black & white

Relationship status: Single

Smiles

Pushes the down window button

Unceremoniously flicks the roses out

Pulls up the window button

Turns up the volume

Drives away

Singing _________